Thursday, October 27, 2005

The People's Republic of ExxonMobil

I wonder at what point the lines between "employee", "consumer", and "citizen" will cease to exist, and we all become loyal subjects of various massive corporations.




From today's Wall Street Journal:

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Exxon Posts Record Profits, Sales

Exxon Mobil, the world's biggest oil company, reported a jaw-dropping third-quarter profit of $9.92 billion, up 75% from a year ago and a record for a U.S. company, on revenue of $100.72 billion, also a record. If Exxon were a country and revenue were its gross domestic product, its $404 billion in annualized GDP would make it the 18th-most-productive country in the world, with a bigger economy than Switzerland. Its quarterly revenue was more than the latest quarterly revenue of fellow Dow components Alcoa, American Express, Boeing, Caterpillar, DuPont, Walt Disney, Home Depot, Honeywell, Coca-Cola and McDonald's combined. High oil prices helped Exxon, as they helped ConocoPhillips, which reported an 89% jump in profits yesterday, and Royal Dutch/Shell, which reported its highest quarterly profit ever, $9.03 billion, up 68% from a year ago. The sad news for Exxon was that its earnings excluding one-time items fell shy of Wall Street estimates. But its shares didn't fall very far; there was grumbling that the company might have poor-mouthed its earnings in order to avoid a political backlash.

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If that's not impressive enough, consider that ExxonMobil has practically no debt, is sitting on mountains of cash, and is buying back shares of outstanding stock at a rate uncommon in the industry. Contrast this to the US government swimmin' in debt, and one feels inclined to start practicing the song now: EXXONMOBIL, UBER ALLES....

4 Comments:

Blogger Jeff said...

I had a comment all ready on this, but I think Germanicu$' use of "EXXONMOBIL, UBER ALLES" has triggered Godwin's Law, thus closing the string. Pity.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Germanicu$ said...

Here's another way to look at it - profits by the MINUTE:

"Exxon reported third-quarter net income of $9.92 billion, up 75% from the year earlier, on revenue of $100.72 billion. It was among the biggest quarterly profits of any company in history, and amounted to a per-minute profit of $74,879.23 during the quarter."

10:03 AM  
Blogger Germanicu$ said...

Ha! I did not know about Godwin's law, but have now been schooled.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law

GODWIN'S LAW UBER ALLES!!!

4:01 PM  
Blogger sexyretard said...

Well that doesn't prove anything. So what if Godwin knew a little German? Why, even Hitler spoke German!

Here's my question. The longer Hitler spoke, did it become the more likely that he'd mention himself?

1:27 PM  

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