Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Stalin's half-man, half-ape super-warriors

Pretty incredible stuff, if is to be believed:

THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.


Blogger mkchicago said...

First thing I thought of:

Rev. Lovejoy: I will now read the special vows which Homer has prepared for this occasion. Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness? Poorness is underlined. In impotence and in potence? In quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-power, monkey navigated... and it goes on like this.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

" In quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-power, monkey navigated..."

Brilliant! I had forgotten all about that line...

Now, Big Soviet monkey men soldiers, impervious to pain and indifferent to the quality of the food they eat, would definitely be evidence of intelligent design.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Pete Sampras said...

This idea of Soviet monkey men soldiers could have fueled the theory that a "humanzee" named Oliver existed in the 70s.

I wonder if anyone checked Oliver's nationality.

10:46 AM  
Blogger sexyretard said...

Let's talk dollars. How much would it take for you to screw a monkey for Stalin?

When you ruthlessly oversee the murder of 20 million people, things like the creation of monkey-men seem pretty normal, almost cute, like Kim Jong's love of the opera or Saddam's love of doritos.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Saddam loves Doritos? Cool Ranch, Shia Blood, or Nacho Cheese, Saddam?

1:33 PM  
Blogger mkchicago said...

Kurdish salsa.
he loves Raisin Bran also

2:01 PM  
Blogger sexyretard said...

9 out of 10 ruthless dictators prefer Raisin Bran to Fruit Loops. The 10th is Kim Jong-Il.

9:58 PM  

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